Mahligai Kasih in Kuantan

the past couple of weeks, with exception of the HK trip, my thoughts have always been on this event we had yesterday. It's like a kursus kahwin but for already married couples. best tau - theories vs realities :). The invites were generally the company's staff and their spouse. Alhamdulillah the event went great! We invited Pak Utih from Kedah to talk about how men and women think differently, and there are also some 'steamy' topics! Rugi laa sapa tak datang.

some new facts from Pak Utih :- there has been studies that shows baby girls prefer faces and boys prefer 'things'. girls' left brains develop faster hence they talk relatively earlier and learn better in schools. girls have more 'tunnels' / connections between left- and right-side of the brains while boys have less (mono-tracking)..hence our male friends could do one thing at a time, and can't multi-task like we do..kesian...

so, one word for mom of boys, we need to give one instruction at a time for our boys. suruh banyak2 sekali gus tak jadi.

Pak Utih brings verse 34 of surah an-Nisaa' saying that men are leaders/protectors and spend/maintainers for women, and women obey and take care of herself/things around her...that's the fitrah and ideal role of men & women...

Pak Utih also told the men on behalf of the women in the room that we love two things : connect with people and (window) shopping...! he shared some tips on how to make the husbands less stressful at the mall. :) women also like to link up or connect various things or events in their thinking process when men see issues separately. that makes us think too much and stress ourselves up. i can't reveal too much of the tips from Pak Utih..., you are welcome to call Pak Utih and invite him to talk at your place with reasonable consultancy rate at pakutih@ymail.com or 017-7272307. His site is http://mahligaikasih.multiply.com/

oh yes, there was a question posed by one of the participants. from the comparison made between male and female, how much is it (in rough %) are we in common with each other. Pak Utih replied that we are totally different. our looks, our needs, macam malam dan siang, memang tidak sama. but we have one thing in common - which is our life goals or 'halatuju'. as a muslim, we all want jannah. we all want to die as syahid. so we must help each other to achieve these common goals. when we both realise what is important, it can keep us on the right track despite our differences, and when we face difficult times....

at night, we brought Pak Utih out for dinner at Sara Thai. Although we don't really know each other before (we did attend his course in 2000 in shah alam - but didn't have the opportunity to get to know him personally), he is an instant friend and father figure.

i had a few Qs to ask him, but satu je sempat tanya. i asked him why there are so many cases of 'curang' by either husband or wife, some done secretly, some openly? sometimes, it goes on although there is no plans or hope of marrying that 3rd person. he said, this occurs due to 'opportunity'. one thing that can stop one from hurting his/her own marriage is iman....