The day finally came. The boys hv been so excited that we were all to come to their school for iftar (break of fast) on 16/9/08. We've been getting constant reminders from Mujahid & Umar since last week...
I thot i needed to prepare/contribute some food...(where got time to prepare any decent food, i'd need 2-3 hours at least..he he he) so after work, i rushed to the bazaar to buy some last minute dish. Later, found out that we didn't have to. the school had prepared everything...! (so we had extra gulai kawah for sahur (morning meal)...:) )
We were quite impressed with the iftar where 1000 packs of food were distributed to parents, students and little children efficiently. Some teachers were busy ensuring things are ok; they themselves did not eat until prob. 1/2 hour later. Solat maghrib was done at 7.45pm sharp! wow..we attended similar break of fast before, @ different place; smaller group but longer queues! Thumbs up to mu'allim,mu'allimah and students of Irsyad!
In between Maghrib and ISya', the principal gave us short updates on the school. Then, Ustaz Abu Kassim gave a short tazkirah. The ustaz's main points that i've noted down :-
3 groups of people who'd face barrier from Allah's guidance to the truth :-
- those who are arrogant; reject the truth
- those who commits injustice/cruelty to people
- those who continue committing grievous sins (don't perform solat, backbiting, disobedience to parents, break relationships)
But i wanted to share the tazkirah we had *after* the tarawih. Which is by Pak Cahyadi, Head of da'wah of Partai Keadilan Sejahtera (PKS), Indonesia. He's written many books on da'wah, parenting etc, and do a lot of da'wah work in Indonesia. He listed 3 tips for succesful parenting :-
1. Acceptance.
We must accept & welcome each of our children no matter the situation. If parents look forward to having a child with great spirit, only then the baby would be raised positively & feel wanted. He compares 2 situations : one, an Indonesian mother who wanted an abortion during her 3rd pregnancy as the govt policy (at that time) limited only 2 children per household. She didn't want the embarassment of having more than the society 'allows'. Vs another mother in Japan who raised her child so positively as if she has the most perfect baby, even if the baby was born without arms and legs. The boy later became a succesful student, even played basketball etc.
2. Positive Enforcement of good words and actions.
A story (also frm indonesia) was on a professor who cld not accept mediocre performance in his son's report cards. He keeps saying that his son embarass him with 'low' achievement (since primary school up to uni days). the dad kept asking, why he cldn't get many As like mom and dad did during their school days?? at the end, the boy left home and join the ANJAL (Anak2 jalanan - children on the streets) coz he really wanted to embarass his dad!
Pak Chahyadi differentiate the word "marah"/scold and "didik"/teach...the former spontaneous/emotional, the latter with care/planned...hmm easier said than done. i need my maid!! when u r tired, tendency is to shout/yell around the house...:(
3. Be involved
Another story, this time about a dad too busy, due to having to take extra jobs. His son wants to play chess with dad and told dad about it. Dad bought the chess set. But no time for the boy. Boy disappointed. dad promised tomorrow, he'll play with him. Come tomorrow, boy so excited but dad returned home late again...to cut the story short, dad regret and realised that it's not the tools/expensive things we buy, but the time spent together...children want the attention from parents...everyone knows that. tht if the children could not get it from parents, they'll search for attention and love elsewhere....
that's all i cld note down. After 9 yrs of being parent, i still make mistakes. If we make mistakes @ workplace, they stand to be immediately penalised / or corrected by boss or colleagues. Mistakes at home, particularly involving children usually cause emotional scar, which we can't normally see....
but we're all learning along the way.
i hope my children cld forgive me in the process.
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